cold.eyes.....sharpening knife

today is 7th june..........end of few dayz rest of mine at home.......now i'll again start a new journey 2 discover ma self..nd paint d canvas of ma personality 2 a different milange of spectrum............tommorrow again i'll leave meerut......d city in wich i ws born..got education.......dear frnzz.nd lozz of other things........d city in wich probably i'll hardly be living thruout ma life.......d city in which i'll luv 2 luv........d city which hs filled thoughts in ma heart ...imparted feelings....which r drown in tears.....(arre don get senti yaar.that's me.........no1 spl)....... hv u seen a butcher sharpening the knife 2 kill a innocent lamb.........wid lambs luking thru his crystal clear eyes 2 beg 4 mercy.......4 his lyf.........bt he has 2 kill him........2 satisfy d hunger of d ppl.dearst 2 him.........i m d butcher......i'll kill d lamb........probably sum1 find a way out.2 avoid me tarvel whole of this lyf laden wid guilty of doing this thing...................... smile....u..............all .....wat else u can do.....after seeing this......no1 can do nything...
well....i 'lll be fine sum day..at least i hope so........
i shall overcome .......some day........we shall walk hand in hand ......some day....
i dunno....where i'll be after next 24 hrs.........
sheeshe khwab leke .raato mein chal rha hun takra na ja kahin naa..............
(takra gya to acchha hai.....ujala to aa jayega...)
wen i look back i saw......me as an actor doingsharabi role..in school.........so much funny.......
as a baburao.in sklu fare well...i ws d happiest guy of d claas......
not even a sinlgle scandel 2 ma credit.........spotless white track record..me amitesh.ashutosh.shivam.....sitting together and non-stop laughing..........alwayz avoided controversies..........(or d roots 2 dem..samjh jao bhai......).....so i ws suh a humourous guy.never abused any1.still i sincerely wish all 2 remain happy nd calm.......
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aa chalke tujhe mai leke chalu ek aise gagan ke tale...............
jhna gum bhi na ansoo bhi na ho............
bas pyar hi pyar pale.......bas pyar hi pyar pale
sooraj ki pehli kiran se..asha ki sawera jaage....

Chanda ki kiran se dhulkar ghanghor andhera bhage…
Kahin dhoop khile kahin chawn mile lambi si dagar na khale…

Jahna gum bhi na ho ansooo bhi na ho ..
Bas pyar hi pyar pale…bas pyar hi pyar pale…

Jan door najar dodaien asha ka chaman lehraye..
Jahn rang birange panchi….asha ka sandesa laye..
Sapno ki koi khilti si kali……. jahan shaam suhani dhale….
Jahn…….


Chaman se yaad aaya.chaman sir………d most ideal person in ma life …after swami vivekanand…..he ws an idol of what is called …stature of god….any other teacher cud hv taught us physics……..bt he taught us life………..in its full form …without shortcuts…abt me he once said in class………………………
Ye banda kar to bahut kuch sakta hai …………………par karega nhi……
And exactly .i cud hv got gud marks in xms.bt I din’t…..i cud hv cleared JEE bt again I din’t……now I can do best in robotics…..nd see whether this tym I’ll be able to do it or not…
Actually he jst saw d result he hs nt seen d actual settngs at dat tym dat leaded me to such performances……actually I m still nt convinced that it ws a mistake or what….taking PCMB took life blood out of me…that too without coaching…..school’s gr88 support………ha haa…..and all that crap……..that i wish 2 forget……..bt keep on reminding….whenver I start a new beginning I stand on a cliff to look back into past……..its painful 2 look back .and see wat u hv lost….even more painful to visualise future……….nd predict wat u can’t gain…….

Bt I hv pledged I ‘ll go in front of him only wen I will do wat I m capable of doing….
thats 4 sure…..his one special warning abt future of India has given me the new target in ma lyf………the target dat I have not shared with any1 else…. I’ll share only wid 1 person …who has d same passion as me…..till then………

Tere bina zindigi se shikwa to nhi …shikwa nhi shikwa nhi..
Tere bina zindigi bhi lekin zindagi to nhi ..zindgi nhi..

Kaash aisa ho tere kadmo se chukar manjil chale..
Aur kahin door kahin….tum jo paas ho manjilo ki kaami to nhi….

Tere bina………

Jee mein aata hai tere anchal mein sar chupakar hum rote rahe………
Tum jo saath ho.meri aankho mein ansuon ki nami to nhi.