lost in the crowd........

when i tried to find a way to express the emotions that i hv been facing...........i found that the face of a child lost in the crowd would provide me a perfect start to say wats there in my heart.......


when u start traversing the unkown tarrains of your fate, you just dont know wat u r gonna face next ,....but u keep urself equipped with the adversties that this world may pound you upon......in a matter of fact u hold the finger of ppl whom u trust ........so that they can hold u when u fall.....wen u face a bump....u lose ur balance or just fumble down in the askance of support........at times u provide them support, u give them a reason 2 smile, they give a maeining to your life and somehow you cross the chaotic road called life in the midset of all the thriving trafic ............sumhow u get time to smile and say all izz well........

but i never thot that i will ever confront a situation wen the ppl i trusted, the ppl that gave me confidence to march ahead and plunge into unkown depths, will suddenly pulll their hands up from me...........calling me insane and lost faith in my ablities........
these are the ppl whom i trusted ....who trusted me....who gave me confidence to fly........whom i want to tell how much i have covered and how the world looks like from here........dark or bright as the case may be.........they listened the bright part.........but they never cared for my survival when i am in dark phase.....they simply left me in dark cold night outside their house when i repeatedly knocked their gates......to prevent me from dying out of the bitter cold...........probably they wished from their heart that i shud nt die....but they never tried to gimmie a place in their life...........

today when i am in midest of all the crisis i look at the face of a lost child surrounded by the crowd.....eager to listen to him.............to know wat he lacks............to heal where he is hurt......

but he is crying over and over .....without uttering a word....and searching from the window of his moist eyes the image that match the face of ppl whom he trusted wen he set out of the to his journey ................\

whom he trusted when he set out to this journey......

A face I cannot remember

A voice that seems to come from a distance

This is what remains of you with me, today.

Memories of the days when we were together

The walks that helped us to know each other better

Blurred pictures from the past;

A hand slipping out of the grip of my hand

This is how I feel you everyday.

A warm embrace, which blocks the feeling of loneliness

A smile, which makes my day;

Eyes, which still look at me and make me blush

This is how I wish to remember you, forever.

sitting idle in hostel room or getting bored on net.....

wat do u think is better???

well i found d latter 1 better....

so i did some blogging nd found dis nice piece of poetry on a blog..............

look at this cnu feel d vibes..........feel d sensation hidden in this piece

Death of a bhai............

i ws singing..
ye dolat bhi le lo....yeh shohrat bhi le lo....along wid a guy..........
he has a story to tell........
he says few dayz back his best bro.....his pal.....his best frnd....met an accident .....wen he frst went on to bike ride....widout his bike........on his other brother's marriage.........

easily said ....bt who cn understnd better than him....he's still sittting by my side....bt i can't even speak to him........i now remeber all my frnzz who hv lost their loved ones.........
Hannu...abhilash...ashutosh......sumit..amit.....all lost their father............
i still remember all those incidents...their pain.......their sufferings...their longings.....their desries burnt to ashes.......
sir se saaya uth jaata jaata hai jinke.........
aasama hi ek saaya baaki hai.....
kya hua jo ek kami si hai dil me.....
ye waqt ki hi to kahmoshi hai...........


har kisi ko muqammal jahan nhi milta...
kisi ko jameen kisi ko aasma nhi milta....

New life::: new people:: new equation:: old result

Men want to be needed, and women need to be wanted."....

I read that libe in a blog if u happen to know the depth of these lines .Please tell me......

As far as i can configure...........women wants to show their importance.......dy like to be treated important.......as a spl person.........bt its not as simple as it seems........
its way complex....and only one who has passed thru it can raelize abt it........
one thing is for sure......untilland unless u talk to gals they don't even bother thinking about you....untill and unless you are a superhero or so.............

but you can easily conquer them if u can show them the clarity of your heart.......u can easily win ovewr dem.....and its nt bad.......at least dy won't think bad abt u

preparing 4 rock-on

This time life seeing to be picking up......well i kno no1 cares but i feellike telling it to ma blog....and i am doing dat........the darkest phase of ma life is over...bt has endowed me wid the worst marks of ma life...only + thing was that i managed to skip thru that phase...clean..and clear...............widout any back.......

ab dekho me kya karta hun..........................................

sacrifice is d peak of self control

In order to prove myself right i have to sacrifice a lot of things dearest to me at various point of my life time......
latest is orkuting.....
dere ws a tym wen i used to login after each hour.....i dunno why??
then i thioght abt controlling it........i love ma frnss....bt i sacrificed d pleasure of their contact...
i logged-in today after 30 may........before thisws 17apr....
bt only few ppl remebered me in this interval......its so painful...
in class 5th i plegded nt 2 take soft drinks..and i din't had soft drink till class 12......
i got scolded 4 watching TV and i left it in class 7th....
even today i don't watch it on a regular basis...........
so lesson 4 u is....dat i can chase wat i deserve by injecting my life-blood into it..
bt if i decide to leave dem....even if life gets hell 4 me...i jst don care......
so dats all for today....have nice day.......probably i'll be back in meerut tommorow..

life

Iwill tell a story today....... one day a tortoise started wishing that he cud fly...and explore the wolrd around him.....as he has seen jst only a peice of wat cn be described as ocean of drops of wisdom....so he started wishing for it.......everyone around him shushed him...and advised him to be in limits.....t he ws rather a tough fellow....he decided he'llhv to fight his way out.......he hs toexplore....the true path..d serenity...d exact essence of life which he can never see in his domain.....as d first step he made it apoint to livewith birds......who had travelled d whole world and those who shared their wisdom....they acquired frm whole wolrd...sohe left d comapny of slow toroise andexplored the exciting vistas defined bythe experince holders..............he knew in his heart that he has to fly............no matter wat comes to it.....no matter whether sky meets horizonornot...nomatter sun sets onits position or not

Missing chaman sir

He’s the only person till now who has highest degree of depth of life…only becoz he has lived life to its fullest terms….to him it can be said that………he came…he saw……he conquered i don’t know whether he is aware or not bt I hv record of each preaching that he told us during physics lecture….and that used to appear vry boring to some of the intelligent ppl of the class…….


Well for ppl who don’t know him I must tell that he is 65 yrs old teacher ….taught us physics at DA(not Drama academy..yaar……..)in ma class 11 nd 12……..apart from his excellent command over his subject he had a gr8 insight of the jest for life…..or the enthusiasm to live…….life plan nhi ki jaati jee jaati hai……..ha ha that’s something that sum1 gained frm him(probably…..i m nt sure)…..nd commented on me…….bcoz I always live life on tomorrow I never live life on today…..always plan 4 future ……..dat is d way I m…………….

Well he used to refer to “sukhmani sahib”….dat he once read in the midnight hour..wen he thought that their must be some circumstances ……..that leads ppl to suicide….(don’t be scared……yaar).so instead of ending his life he took divine help….. and he got over from his phase of life…..married his sisters….settled his brothers……sab kuch yaad aa rha hai aaj.ateet ke kitabo se nikal kar …….kya karu kya kya type karun…….

U kno….. wat is most painful 4 a person…..wen u trust sum1 as ur own blood .u sacrifice all d things dearest 2 u...still u get rebuked 4 nt doing the things properly…….his younger brother had the potential of getting into the IAS cadre……bt wat he lacked is the sincerity to do things the jest 4 living….sir used 2 scold him more than usual …..one day his mother uttered few words that pained him more than anything else
…tu use roti khila rha hai isi liye maarta hai usko..

if u hv a little sense of human emotions u cn judge how much painful it is …………..only it can b felt .not typed here………

Among other things ….i must say he never got the respect that he deserved from ppl…… such an ideal person…….our principal called an expert for CBSE board (I dunno who made him do that….)..so he(expert) taught us things at vry low level……..i mn sir ws a super expert as compared…to him… bt still he kept sayng that I’ve come 2 kno that u ppl r lacking in the last chapter.and he taught in such a bad manner……that cud hv ashamed any normal physics(mind it he ws an expert)……..still chaman sir got no credit of teaching thing better than that expert….and he presented that expert with a gazak box….on his own…..once again a preaching….that u must do thngs on your own…whether they r required or not………that depicts……u must do things self less feelings…..that is something turning out 2 b ma own story…..doesn’t matter how much u try2 be nice2 ppl….dy will still nt pain themselves to know wat pains u….all ppl kno is jst their own self-interest………..

ATTACKS ON INDIAN STUDENTS.............

frist of all kudos.to australian ppl....that may sound strange to you people....but i a
m really quite elated by the happenings..don't be infurious let me explain the proeedings...
they have acheived what they set out to acheive .to instilll fear among the indian students......and morte than that to make the ppl thinking of migrating there
of possible danger that they might have to face ...........once they set out for australia.so in effect ....more minds must have diverted their plzns to australian expedtion then ever before.......... so good for those people.........

actually...we indians are quite hard-working but only when we get correct system to sustain our growth.and a suitable platform to showcase our talent.......have u ever pondered why lakhsmi
niwas mittal would never have been successful in indian set-up..........only bcoz ofthe system of india......hence the essence here is the system...those people at australia have built their system .which is fair to talent by their own hard work.they imparted.honesty to the buerocrarcy.....which is totally devasted as far as india is concered......so what does the people do?? they simply switch over to the fair system and work with more
zeal and enthusiasm over there..............but what about ppl who created that fair system.they started lagging behind......and now their subsequent anger is quitely justified........allthe problems converge to one point that is SYSTEM........................
so the lesson for indian is to change the system.instead of leaving it on its own
.......ek baar try to karo yaar.................kisi cheez ko agar sache dil se chaho to saari kyanat use tumse milane ki sazish mein lag
jaati hai........pehle kisis cheez ki sache dl se to chao.....bhai.......so try to

heyy ppl i strated new journey.safely

i reahed here in delhi...safely.....got the lecture...kind of introductory class.nothing more than 2 scare a freshman...........AVR microcontroller.line tracker...h-bridge and all these things..abt accomodation .i met a nice guy.sameeer .nd he helped took to d room wher he ws living.......dere ws space of 1 guy....so i fitted.....hmm settings seemed to b nice......now see how things get worked up..........it now ma turn 2 prove dat me tooo can chase ma passions ...widout any provocation.....i chose robotics as ma passsion..nd ow i all set 2 do wat i m alwayz capable 2 do.....bt cud ntdo it..each step...........life alwayz has had a upper hand on me.......never ever i hv let this cold hand of life spare me.......from breaking ma dreams......now lezz see wat happens.........who wins.life or me..................d game is on.....

cold.eyes.....sharpening knife

today is 7th june..........end of few dayz rest of mine at home.......now i'll again start a new journey 2 discover ma self..nd paint d canvas of ma personality 2 a different milange of spectrum............tommorrow again i'll leave meerut......d city in wich i ws born..got education.......dear frnzz.nd lozz of other things........d city in wich probably i'll hardly be living thruout ma life.......d city in which i'll luv 2 luv........d city which hs filled thoughts in ma heart ...imparted feelings....which r drown in tears.....(arre don get senti yaar.that's me.........no1 spl)....... hv u seen a butcher sharpening the knife 2 kill a innocent lamb.........wid lambs luking thru his crystal clear eyes 2 beg 4 mercy.......4 his lyf.........bt he has 2 kill him........2 satisfy d hunger of d ppl.dearst 2 him.........i m d butcher......i'll kill d lamb........probably sum1 find a way out.2 avoid me tarvel whole of this lyf laden wid guilty of doing this thing...................... smile....u..............all .....wat else u can do.....after seeing this......no1 can do nything...
well....i 'lll be fine sum day..at least i hope so........
i shall overcome .......some day........we shall walk hand in hand ......some day....
i dunno....where i'll be after next 24 hrs.........
sheeshe khwab leke .raato mein chal rha hun takra na ja kahin naa..............
(takra gya to acchha hai.....ujala to aa jayega...)
wen i look back i saw......me as an actor doingsharabi role..in school.........so much funny.......
as a baburao.in sklu fare well...i ws d happiest guy of d claas......
not even a sinlgle scandel 2 ma credit.........spotless white track record..me amitesh.ashutosh.shivam.....sitting together and non-stop laughing..........alwayz avoided controversies..........(or d roots 2 dem..samjh jao bhai......).....so i ws suh a humourous guy.never abused any1.still i sincerely wish all 2 remain happy nd calm.......
.
.
.
aa chalke tujhe mai leke chalu ek aise gagan ke tale...............
jhna gum bhi na ansoo bhi na ho............
bas pyar hi pyar pale.......bas pyar hi pyar pale
sooraj ki pehli kiran se..asha ki sawera jaage....

Chanda ki kiran se dhulkar ghanghor andhera bhage…
Kahin dhoop khile kahin chawn mile lambi si dagar na khale…

Jahna gum bhi na ho ansooo bhi na ho ..
Bas pyar hi pyar pale…bas pyar hi pyar pale…

Jan door najar dodaien asha ka chaman lehraye..
Jahn rang birange panchi….asha ka sandesa laye..
Sapno ki koi khilti si kali……. jahan shaam suhani dhale….
Jahn…….


Chaman se yaad aaya.chaman sir………d most ideal person in ma life …after swami vivekanand…..he ws an idol of what is called …stature of god….any other teacher cud hv taught us physics……..bt he taught us life………..in its full form …without shortcuts…abt me he once said in class………………………
Ye banda kar to bahut kuch sakta hai …………………par karega nhi……
And exactly .i cud hv got gud marks in xms.bt I din’t…..i cud hv cleared JEE bt again I din’t……now I can do best in robotics…..nd see whether this tym I’ll be able to do it or not…
Actually he jst saw d result he hs nt seen d actual settngs at dat tym dat leaded me to such performances……actually I m still nt convinced that it ws a mistake or what….taking PCMB took life blood out of me…that too without coaching…..school’s gr88 support………ha haa…..and all that crap……..that i wish 2 forget……..bt keep on reminding….whenver I start a new beginning I stand on a cliff to look back into past……..its painful 2 look back .and see wat u hv lost….even more painful to visualise future……….nd predict wat u can’t gain…….

Bt I hv pledged I ‘ll go in front of him only wen I will do wat I m capable of doing….
thats 4 sure…..his one special warning abt future of India has given me the new target in ma lyf………the target dat I have not shared with any1 else…. I’ll share only wid 1 person …who has d same passion as me…..till then………

Tere bina zindigi se shikwa to nhi …shikwa nhi shikwa nhi..
Tere bina zindigi bhi lekin zindagi to nhi ..zindgi nhi..

Kaash aisa ho tere kadmo se chukar manjil chale..
Aur kahin door kahin….tum jo paas ho manjilo ki kaami to nhi….

Tere bina………

Jee mein aata hai tere anchal mein sar chupakar hum rote rahe………
Tum jo saath ho.meri aankho mein ansuon ki nami to nhi.

Return of UPA govt.

It has been a matter of celebration for few people and a matter for grief for others.... Im presenting here a unbaised analysis of present political scenario.
i'll dissect it oneby one(still i loves bio) first of all past 5 yrs ofUPA govt............if u look back u'll clearly visualise that those who were rich are getting richer...and poor people are starving for mere survival............though sensex touched new heights but a bitter truth of inflation prevailed through the ecocnomy...dat influenced the common man badly. Actually those who were directly linked to the economyStood to gain something from the rising economy…
For example when profit of a certain industry rises…the owner looks forward to either establish new industries….or to stuff profit in his pocket. He never ever increase the wage of poor workers ….specially labour class…..they have to sustain the shooting inflation…..by the meager income that they are fed up from their cruel…mean.and yess business tycoons…..actually in India u can have plenty of labour at low cost.so why bother hiking their wages…………ya that’s cruel truth ….of a labour’s life………..jeese bhukhe pet sona padta hai.kyunki aaj malik ke bete ki 5 star mein party thi.aur aaj kaam band tha..
A poor farmer never stand to gain anything from rising economy….bcoz …….hike in rate is either benefited by middle man or well-to-do farmers…all the low-lying farmers.. to ansoo pikar hi pyaas bhuja lete hai…….
Aankh mein sheesho ke sapne liye engineers ko ye sach kabhi dikhai nhi deta ..kyunki dy stand only to gain something from this rising economy..so why bother even spare a thinking about destitute………..
For them they have huge aspirations from new govt……………..bocz there eyes are still closed…………kahin der naa ho jayee..

Another aspect of UPA win is the defeat of NDA……actually they were seen lethargic in putting forward the issues of inflation and terrorism….to the crossfire…(I think they were scared of healing those issues themselves)…and yess.. never forget the contribution of Rahul Gandhi…………a figure of solace for the whole country. among all these corrupt politicians. Yet see wt he can get from those remote villages…. where he vists….after living a aristocratic life……………hope for better….

Summing it all its my prediction and take my words…..next 5 yrs will see the broadening of gap between…..those who can stand with their head held high and those who can not…….

i'lll let ppl know my might

i hv jst compledted ma frst yr....nd jst arrived delhi... dis morning....completely exahuated....bt found here....net service...cudn't stop ma self...
so 'll write on things that i strongly feel abt...
nd i'll guide u 2 d arena of unbaised thinking ....

heyy ppl today is 6 th june and today is a spl day...........i.e ma frnd ashu's brdy................he's d person wid whom i 've talked more than anybody else in ma adolescence..........he's quite an intellectual person.........but entangeled in the boughs of uncertain times......he can enjoy life like a normal guy...........bt he hs so much energy that keeps him afloat in the sky of high intelligence..........so as to stop him from sitting ideal............

so today i m siting in the noisy staffroom of RGEC.meerut...i came over here 2 meet ma jiju....who is offered d HOD post here ...bt he turned down d offer....well i came over here 2 drop ma cousin...her last day in college....pretty strange...everything is happening so fast that i can't even organise ma thoughts........leave alone writing them ..........bt still i m trying........like all d impossible pursuits i've been chasing so far in ma life.......frst IIT.......then .........robotics.......now. solace nd i get them............yes u r right i get wat i set out 2 chase frm ma starting line.....bt i get those things wen dy beocme oblselete for me.........wen i no longer crave 4 dem.......wen all ma desires die................. to ashes..........burnt out refuse to get lost..
today is 7th june..........end of few dayz rest of mine at home.......now i'll again start a new journey 2 discover ma self..nd paint d canvas of ma personality 2 a different milange of spectrum............tommorrow again i'll leave meerut......d city in wich i ws born..got education.......dear frnzz.nd lozz of other things........d city in wich probably i'll hardly be living thruout ma life.......d city in which i'll luv 2 luv........d city which hs filled thoughts in ma heart ...imparted feelings....which r drown in tears.....(arre don get senti yaar.that's me.........no1 spl).......

hv u seen a butcher sharpening the knife 2 kill a innocent lamb.........wid lambs luking thru his crystal clear eyes 2 beg 4 mercy.......4 his lyf.........bt he has 2 kill him........2 satisfy d hunger of d ppl.dearst 2 him.........i m d butcher......i'll kill d lamb........probably sum1 find a way out.2 avoid me tarvel whole of this lyf laden wid guilty of doing this thing......................
smile....u..............all